90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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