3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
