If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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