So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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