we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize