When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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