I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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