If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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