he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
