Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
