i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
