so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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