I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
