We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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