Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
