There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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