Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
