If that was your dad, he is hot
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
