awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
farters have to be the big spoon...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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