I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
