I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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