well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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