so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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