Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
