Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
