Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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