Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
