As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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