i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize