Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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