pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
