all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
