how can u be prego again
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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