I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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