thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
