Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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