butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
