I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
