Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
