Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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