he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize