i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
