You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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