Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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