She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
