Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize