Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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