i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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