September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
