from now on my penis is your penis
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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