just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
