bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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