Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
