Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
