Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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