return my video game
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
