I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize