Say something about gay babies.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
